July 21, 2008
What Hair Hath Mr. Mittens Wrought?
by Keith Weiland
Keith@IntheBullseye.com

If you subscribe to the idea that Mr. Mittens left a dark legacy with the Houston Texans, aside from the five years of suckage, dead cap space, and vaguely suggestive encounters, it was that his era was an undeniably hair-centric experience.

Mittens, who oddly enough turned 29 today, raised the bar when it came to outlandishly poor coifs for future Texans. While nothing will ever top the Mr. T shave adorned by then-rookie Travis Johnson, courtesy of teammates Gary Walker and Robaire Smith, there were sightings of new contenders to the throne during OTAs, namely the 'dos of David Anderson and Ahman Green.

So it is with shivering cowardice that I await the team check-in on Thursday, anxious to see what brazenly misguided new looks will thankfully be hidden under helmets come Friday. As Johnson's doppleganger Clubber Lang said in Rocky III, "My prediction? Pain!"

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