Feed the Haiku Monster! [Official ItB.com Contest - 2010]

[Keith]

We've officially made it to the deadest part of the NFL offseason, a time to relax, a time to refle---

Oh noes!

The Haiku Monster has is b-b-b-back!!!1!

As you may recall from previous offseasons, when the Haiku Monster has too little Texans news and opinions on which to feed in the latter stages of the offseason, the only thing that keeps him (it?) from wreaking all-out armageddon on our little oasis of fan-flavored goodness are your pithy haikus for his consumption!

So please... reply in this thread with your best haiku to satisfy the Haiku Monster. There are only two rules: (1) You must follow the generally accepted haiku format - - NO EXCEPTIONS! and (2) You must make the Haiku Monster feel the sort of inner peace one can only achieve from a perfectly constructed haiku.

Or, the rules in a manner that might satisfy the monster:

Limitless entry
Haiku to your heart's content
Just don't suck too much

I'll then brave life and limb in taking your entries to the Haiku Monster to see which are the most satisfactory and ask all of you to vote for the favorite. The person posting the most satisfactory haiku will receive a ItB.com XL t-shirt (free shipping included)!

[Joe Joe]

No Football Sunday
Futbol no es mi amor
Needles in my heart

Where is Hank Williams
Sad saxophone plays the night
The Red, White, and Blues

[EndZoneSeats]

Plunge in the needle
Sack, intercept and inject
Rookie of the year

[Joe Joe]

Zone Run Blocking, huh
More like Zone Stop Tackle
No Run, No Blocking

[Nconroe]

Hear the Texans
running this Fall,
Then the winning score

[TheMatrix31]

Sundays blow right now
Please hurry up, September.
We need our football.

[NickO]

In a flop contest
I always thought Stockton won
Then the World Cup came...

[WMH]

I knew it was time.
For this damn Haiku contest.
Hate this time of year.

[HPF Bob]

Same stale old refrain:
"Must get to Peyton Manning"
Texans' epitaph

[HPF Bob]

Slow white boy reverse
is back for another year
Please let's not run it

[Joe Joe]

False Start. Number..Heh
Where is Chester and the Pitts?
Inadvertant Flag

[machoneil]

Liberty-white hot,
Steel-blue knife between the 20's.
Tate battles red zone?

[Joe Joe]

Fantasy Football
Mag in the grocery store
Season gets closer

[HPF Bob]

Enjoy it now fans
Next year the strike will be here
And Sundays will suck

[chuck]

Bye week - two and four
Then six road games out of ten
Another sad year

[Joe Joe]

Super Mario
Hits a block and eats a shroom
Plays bigger this year

Pixelated Shrooms
Does NFL test for them?
Bad metaphor, huh

[chuck]

Bright sun punishes
Pavement - rednecks drunk by nine
Reliant tailgate

[chuck]

Incredible drive -
Matt Schaub, leading the offense
Halfback pass! - OH NO!

[HPF Bob]

Originally Posted by chuck

Incredible drive -
Matt Schaub, leading the offense
Halfback pass! - OH NO!

+1 (can't just say +1 because the software is set to require a 10 character minimum)

[cland]

Division beware
It's time for change at the top
All great runs must stop