Official Texans @ Patriots Playoff Game Thread, 1/14/2017

[barrett]

Originally Posted by chuck

When I was ten or so my grandfather bought his grandsons NRA memberships. It is entirely possible that they were lifetime memberships and if so, I am indeed an NRA member.

I grew up around guns. I am from Texas, after all. I got my first gun when I was in kindergarten. My dad was an avid hunter and at some point he found himself doing some sort of real estate business with Carter from Carter's Country. I want to say his name was Jim Carter. Anyway, my dad was forever bringing home guns of all description for my brother and me.

I don't think I've been hunting since I was in high school. But I found out not too long ago that I am still an excellent shot. A New York City living friend came to Houston and demanded to go out to a range and shoot. It must have been a Saturday and the place was packed with the sort of neck who wears camouflage to church. You know the ones. Anyway, I smoked everyone out there. My friend could not believe it.

I used to work with a guy who lived across the street from NRA headquarters. He was a bit of a gun nut and would often go to the range in the building's basement. How he managed to get a handgun permit in 1990's Washington, DC, is anyone's guess. One day he got questioned by the police. The range had been robbed. Yes, some enterprising individuals knocked off the NRA gun range. They questioned my friend because he had a queer habit of exchanging his paycheck for stacks of two dollar bills. He'd wander around town paying for everything in two dollar bills, usually in sequence. He became fairly notorious for it. So the authorities realized that they could get a pretty good idea of the serial numbers of the stolen twos. I wonder if they were ever caught.

I shot a gun once in my life, I am from Massachusetts after all. I come from a family of hippies who have aged into old hippies. I don't think there's a single thing about me that qualifies me as a redneck...well, except for my thoughts on Deandre Hopkins. Those make me a redneck and a racist.

[chuck]

Originally Posted by barrett

I shot a gun once in my life, I am from Massachusetts after all. I come from a family of hippies who have aged into old hippies. I don't think there's a single thing about me that qualifies me as a redneck...well, except for my thoughts on Deandre Hopkins. Those make me a redneck and a racist.

Well, there are rednecks by nature (birth) (me) and by nurture (you).

BT apparently believes that being African American disqualifies one from being a redneck. Why, I am proud to tell him that he is mistaken. I was once driving around in Palm Beach, FL, and at a light I came upon a brand new pickup truck that, along with an impressive array of after-market lights and whatnot, was desecrated with every and all manner of NASCAR sticker. You know those hippy chicks who drive around with seven hundred stickers plastered all over their Subaru, some of them going back to the Al Gore campaign? Coexist, Visualize World Peace, Human Rights Campaign, Ani DiFranco? Well, it was like that, just NASCAR. I can't wait to have a gander at this neck, I thought. Imagine my surprise when I rolled up along side and saw an African American fellow sitting there. And it wasn't even that idiot from Hootie.

Bill Carter is the guy's name, by the way.

[HPF Bob]

Newsflash: The Texans' season is over and they lasted just as far as the Cowboys did! Yee haw! Guess I'll put down my banjo, put in my teeth and have a great big slice of possum pie!

[chuck]

Originally Posted by HPF Bob

Newsflash: The Texans' season is over and they lasted just as far as the Cowboys did! Yee haw! Guess I'll put down my banjo, put in my teeth and have a great big slice of possum pie!

Holler at the outhouse and tell momma that the vittles is ready.

I certainly hope you took the feet off of 'em. Wolfgang Puck takes the feet off of everything nowadays, you know.

[HPF Bob]

Nothing gets wasted. We pull off the toenails and wash em so that the children have toothpicks. Whatever can't be eaten/used, we take them out to the swamp to chum up the gators.

[Arky]

So glad (relieved?) Dallas is not coming here for the Super Bowl. (yes, you were wrong, John McClain).

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In other news, Brock said in his press conference that no one is going to work harder in the off-season than he is to get better. So, it looks like we're going to be in good shape for next year! :thumbs up:

[nunusguy]

Originally Posted by Arky

So glad (relieved?) Dallas is not coming here for the Super Bowl. (yes, you were wrong, John McClain).

Seeing where Jerry Jones is trying to rationalize the loss while denying there's no such thing as a morale victory when you know he's saying yesterdays game was a moral victory for his team.
Hey Jerry you are one and done, end of story. Get over it.
And you know how they always show you Jerry yucking it up with his pals in his suite at the stadium on TV after his team scores, but I so wanted to see him after the Packers made that winning FG. That's the Jerry Jones scene I want to see on the tube.

[chuck]

Originally Posted by HPF Bob

Nothing gets wasted. We pull off the toenails and wash em so that the children have toothpicks. Whatever can't be eaten/used, we take them out to the swamp to chum up the gators.

Say, Buford, that reminds me - how are you and your kin down your side of the holler planning to celebrate the holiday today? I reckon you'll break out some of pappy's corn squeezins and have one hell of a hoedown.