Under NFL rules the Texans didn't have to let the 49ers talk to him even though it would be a promotion, but O'Brien probably doesn't want to stand in the way of an opportunity for Vrabel to advance. O'Brien and Chip Kelly are old friends so O'Brien may have even recommended him.
I was thinking the same thing if they really don't want to lose him -- give him more money and maybe a new title (assistant/associate head coach, senior defensive assistant, etc.), and if Crennel (who turns 69 in June) has an idea of how much longer he wants to coach they could work out a succession plan for Vrabel to eventually take over as DC here.
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