Via Nick Scurfield from twitter:
Just got a handout with the first-quarter stats in the press box. Eagles outgained the Texans 159-29 in the first quarter. Ouch.

Maybe when Gibbs gets fired, we can hire Okoye as our DB coach. His backpeddle is flawless.

So far, the best tackler for the Texans is called "sideline".

12:51 left in the half.

Big gainer to Maclin - wide open for 34 yards.

Timeout Eagles.

I can't believe I did this but I arranged my travel schedule so I will miss that game. When this shit franchise began ten years ago if you'd told me I would deliberately skip out on a MNF game I would have told you you were crazy. Of course, if you had told me the incompetence that would be the hallmark of the franchise I would have told you you were crazy, too.

These stupid assholes can't find an open man when the Eagles blitz like nine guys. Then Matt Turk shits the bed, again. Then right out of a time out Macklin is so open that the only guy in view was Bentley who was about ten yards behind him.

Ball at the Texan 35.

Vick sacked by Pollard -1. 2nd and 11 coming up.

Pass to Maclin good for 12. 1st down.

Harrison TFL by Pollard -1.

Maclin drops one. Brings up 3rd and 11. Another timeout by the Eagles. 10:26 left in the half.

On 3rd and 11, Vick breaks tackles and still gets about 7. Eagles to go for the FG.

Akers 36 yarder is good.

Eagles 17, Texans 3

9:35 left in the half.

The Heat have opened up a big lead on the Cadavers but then that was to be expected. LeBron is baiting the fans during the timeout. This could get ugly in more ways than one.

Slaton downs the ball in the endzone. Texans ball at the 20.

Foster for maybe 1. 2nd and 9 coming up.

Foster for about 1. 3rd and 8 coming up.

Schaub hits Walter for 14 - flag on the play. Eagles offsides, declined.

LeBron needs to play basketball and STFU.

Quinn is absolutely horrible. Jackson literally ran right past him on that last play and was five yards behind him ten yards past the LOS. I don't know how you can field a player who is that bad.

Its a crying shame that we wont ever get to know AJohnson's true potential. He has been this great with horrible coordinators.

Shaub, Foster, and Johnson should be a three headed monster that no one wants to deal with. Instead we are an offense who can only score when the other team is winning by 21 points.

Foster for about 5. 2nd and 5 coming up.

Foster for 6. 1st down.

Deep pass to AJ goes all the way to the Eagle 10!

Foster dives for 4. 2nd and 6 coming up.

Schaub hits JJ in the endzone for the TD!

Eagles 17, Texans 10

5:38 left in the half.

I've always been amazed what AJ even when Carr was QB.

Finally some signs of life in offense.

Schaub has a lot of good qualities but arm strength sure ain't one of them. That's about the 6 or 8th time this year that a receiver has not only had to slow down but essentially stop and wait on the ball and turned what should have been a TD into just a decent completion.

If we can get a stop, we still might have a chance. We get the ball to start the second half. Big IF though.

C'mon defense!

Eagles bring the kickoff back to their 29.

Dump to McCoy goes for 9. 2nd and 1 coming up.

Hall gets 1. 1st down.

Dump to McCoy gets about 8. 2nd and 2 coming up.

Vick pass tipped by GQ inc. Makes it 3rd and 2.

McCoy gets cut down short of the 1st down. Eagles to punt.

JJ fair catches at the Texan 15. 3:04 left in the half.

Wow! A defensive sighting!

Flag pre-snap. False start D Brown. Makes it 1st and 15.

Schaub's pass to KW comes up short. Flag on Eagles for roughing the passer. +15. Puts the ball at the Texan 25.

Foster TFL -2. Makes it 2nd and 12.

Dump to Johnson goes for about 3. Brings up 3rd and 9.

2 minute warning.

On 3rd and 9, Schaub hits Dreessen for 11. 1st down.

Schaub is INT'ed by a lineman. Eagles ball at the Texan 18.

Vicks pass into the endzone goes inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Oh goodness, Bentley missed the sack and Vick scrambles for about 7. 3rd and 3 coming up.