Ben Jones sucks more dick than a porn star.

Awful playcalling. Awful preparation.

Martin brings the ensuing kickoff back to the Texans 25. Texans ball.

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Pass to AJ good for 15.

Foster caught in the backfield for loss of 3.

Foster for 1. 3rd and 12 coming up.

Schaub's pass is knocked loose. Texans recover at their 20. Texans to punt.

Welker brings the punt back to the Pats 29. Pats ball.

Packers game all over again

Wake up, defense. Kubes is trying to avoid getting into a shootout, methinks, but the run game just ain't workin'.

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Woodhead for 4. 2nd and 6 coming up.

Ridley caught for a loss. 3rd and 8 coming up.

Pass to Hernandez goes for 10 and the 1st down.

Ridley for 2.

Dump to Hernandez loses 2. 3rd and 10 coming up.

Deep pass to Welker way overthrown but PI on Manning gives the Pats a 1st down at the Texan 31.

Screen to Welker goes for about 14. Ball at the Texan 17.

Pass to Welker goes to the 5. 1st and goal.

Pass to Hernandez goes for the TD.

Pats 21, Texans 0

11:01 left in the half.

That was a terrible PI call.

Hoping for a big play. Too late.

Crap 21-0 is embarrassing.

JC, this is pathetic !

This is who we are...the forever overachieving little brother...

The ensuing kickoff goes out of the endzone. Texans ball at their 20.

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Dumpoff to Foster gets 5.

Foster for no gain. 3rd and 5 coming up.

Schaub's pass is knocked down at the LOS. Texans have to punt.

Pats fair catch at their 33. Pats ball.

Shaub is rattled...defense has no gameplan...55-0...

The Texans will be lucky to get out of the half down by 35.

Turning this one off. Don't have the desire to watch this shit.

All I wanted for my ****************ing birthday this week was to win this damn game.

Ridley for about 2.

Pass to Hernandez goes for 6. 3rd and 2 coming up.

Brady hit as he throws inc. Pats have to punt.

Martin fair catches the punt at the Texan 11.

8:32 left in the half.

Gotta get off the mat after the 1st round knock down.....

Pass to AJ goes all the way to the Texan 37.

Foster drops the dumpoff pass. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Pass to AJ goes for 9. 3rd and 1 coming up.

Foster for 4 and the 1st down. Ball at midfield.

Dumpoff to Foster goes for 3. 2nd and 7 coming up.

Foster goes right for the 1st down at the Pats 40.

Schaub's pass is deflected, inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Forsett caught for loss of 2. 3rd and 12 coming up.

Pass to Jean gets about 7. Texans to go for it on 4th and 5. Timeout Texans.

Can you believe Walters dropped that ? And Foster dropped one in the flat last series ? We look like were are in PS ?

On 4th and 5, Schaub's pass to KW is caught and then broken up, inc. Pats takeover on downs.

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Ball at the Pats 33.

Brady's deep pass along the sideline sails inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Vereen for about 4. 3rd and 6 coming up.

Pass to Lloyd good for 12 but offensive PI brings it back. 3rd and 16 coming up.

Dump off pass goes inc. Pats to punt with 3:33 left in the half.

Punt goes out of bounds about the Texans 33 but flags are down.....refs rule no foul.... Texans ball.

Foster takes the dumpoff pass all the way to the Pats 43.

Oy, Schaub's dumpoff pass to Foster off the mark, inc.

Timeout Pats with 2:37 left in the half.

Foster for no gain.

On 3rd and 10, the 2 minute warning strikes.

On 3rd and 10, Pats jump offsides, makes it 3rd and 5.

Pass to AJ is broken up, inc. Talib injured on the play, injury timeout. 4th and 5 coming up.....

Texans going for it.....Schaub's pass to KW off the mark, inc. Pats takeover on downs. 1:52 left in the half.

Vereen for 1.

Pass to Lloyd goes for 7. 3rd and 3 coming up.

Brady's pass is broken up by GQ. Pats have to punt with 50 seconds left in the half.

Punt goes into the endzone so Texans ball at their 20.

Pass to OD goes for 11.

Pass to AJ broken up inc. 2nd and 10 coming up with 16 seconds left in the half.

Damn, Schaub misses a wide open Jean deep....

Foster gains about 9.

End of the 1st half.

Pats 21, Texans 0

Well, this hasn't gone well.....

2nd Qtr D showed some improvement, but Schaub sucks tonight.

Schaub sucks because Wilfork's abusing the right side of the OL.

This game is not out of hand but if the Pats score again before the Texans do it will be.

Of course I was thinking the same thing at the half of the Green Bay game. I guess I'm an eternal optimist.

Halftime stats:

Passing: Schaub 12/23, 159 yards, 1 INT

Rushing: Foster 12/44

Receiving: AJ 4/58, Foster 3/32, Jean 2/31, OD 2/24, Forsett 1/14

Tackles: GQ 6, Manning/Sharpton 4 each, James/Joseph/Dobbins/Demp/KJ/Mitchell 2 each

TOP: Texans 16:20, Pats 13:40

3rd down efficiency: Texans 2/8, Pats 2/5

Red zone: Texans 0/0, Pats 2/2

1st downs: Texans 10, Pats 13

Total yards: Texans 177, Pats 196

Penalties: Texans 3/36, Pats 2/15

Turnovers: Texans 1, Pats 0

I think so, too. He's streaky though....

Hopefully this is like the Arizona game in 2009. Except not with Chris Brown being impotent and not being able to get it across the line from one yard out three times in a row.

Pats down the ensuing kickoff in the endzone. Pats ball at their 20.

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30-yard pass to Welker off the mark, inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Vereen dances for 9. 3rd and 1 coming up.

Vereen gets 3 and the 1st down.

Brady's pass over the middle inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Vereen for 2. 3rd and 8 coming up.

Deep pass to Stallworth off the mark, inc. Pats have to punt.

Martin fields the punt and is tackled at the 18. Flag on GQ for holding on the return. Half the distance, places the ball at the Texan 9.

So you think the Texans might get close to the goal line?

Foster for 3.

Foster caught for loss of 2. 3rd and 9 coming up.

Pass to AJ just gets 9. Texans have to punt.

Welker returns the punt to the Pats 26. Pats ball.

You're down to Tom Brady 3 TDs in the second half and you run it up the middle twice in a 3 and out ?

Kubiak is reverting to his inner idiot.

When their best CB is out. What an idiot.

Nope. Not tonight. That's why I stopped watching.

Amen. This is the worst game plan I've seen from him in along time. Hey let's try running at Wilfork and up the gut a few more times.

Deep pass to Vereen down the sideline goes inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Pass to Hernandez goes for 11 and the 1st down.

Dumpoff pass to Welker off the mark, inc. 2nd and 10 coming up.

Short pass Welker broken up, inc. 3rd and 10 coming up.

Deep pass to Stallworth goes all the way for the TD.

Pats 28, Texans 0

9:49 left in the 3rd quarter.

Well, the Routt is on.

So what else can go wrong? It would be nice if something worked.

Yeah, let's huddle up. If that isn't conceding defeat, I don't know what is.

I've always said Tate is a better runner than Foster - he's got a real burst.

Martin does his best Jacoby Jones imitation and brings the ensuing kickoff back to the Texan 12.

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Pass to AJ goes to the 29. Penalty on Pats is declined.

Pass to AJ goes for 4.

Schaub pressured, throws deep to AJ but inc. PI on the Pats places the ball at the Texan 48.

Tate sighting! Tate rushes for about 20.

Deep pass to Jean in the endzone is inc but PI on Jean puts the ball back at the Pats 39.

Dumpoff to Foster gets 7. 2nd and 13 coming up.

Pass to Casey goes to the 2! 1st and goal.

Flags presnap. Pats have 12 men on the field. Half the distance. 1st and goal at the 1.

Schaub can't find a receiver and throws it away, inc. 2nd and goal coming up.

Foster punches it in.

Pats 28, Texans 7

6:12 left in the 3rd quarter.

Nice to finally get on the score board.

Chill out, dude, what's the rush?